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Jonno Turner

Sabotaging since 10 Oct 2013

Jonno Turner is a 27 year old freelance writer who was born in Mongolia and raised by wolves, before admitting that he's a compulsive liar just now. Somehow, people keep giving him a platform, and he currently writes for the Huffington Post and Betfair - as well as spouting off on a range of other subjects such as travel, music and style to whoever will listen, when the mood takes him. He enjoys cluttering up the internet over at www.jonnot.co.uk with a blog that he really should spend more time updating, so don't judge him based on that ok? Instead, follow him on Twitter at @jonnot where he spends an excessive amount of man hours posting ridiculous photos and trolling Justin Bieber, all whilst trying to fit his thoughts into a succinct 140 charac.

My Articles

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Sport

Check Out This Unbelievable Behind-The-Scenes England Footage…

“Do I Not Like That!”. It’s actually pretty crazy that this revolutionary documentary was ever made.

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Funny

Introducing: The Worst Music Video Of All Time

Catchy tune, but there’s something about that dad…

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Football

Chelsea To Steal Arsenal & Man United Target Fabregas

He could return to London - but might not pitch up where you’d expect…

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Football

Arsenal & Liverpool At War Over £16m French Striker

His parent club rejoined the Premier League yesterday, but it still looks like Loic Remy could be on his way out of QPR…

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Football

Why Diego Costa To Chelsea Is Disastrous For Arsenal

The powerful forward’s proposed move to the Premier League could spark a transfer merry-go-round…

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Football

Bernard: Why Liverpool & Arsenal Are Fighting Over Brazilian Wonderkid

Remember Bernard’s Watch? Course you do. Well, welcome to Bernard Watch. It’s the same, but with football instead of all the stopped time stuff…

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People

How Marilyn Monroe’s Image Became Public Property

The blonde bombshell is currently appearing posthumously in adverts for two rivalling fashion houses. What exactly does the most famous face in Hollywood mean to us?

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Football

Jermain Defoe: Ex-Spurs Striker Shouldn’t Have Escaped To MLS

He’s one of the best English finishers for decades, but he chose to up sticks and move to Canada - and now he’s failed to make England’s World Cup squad…

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Football

Man United: Rooney Exit Could Free Up Cavani Cash

The England striker is unhappy about the club’s new managerial appointment…

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Football

Man United Close In On £30m World Class German Defender?

United need some real quality at the back, and they don’t come much better than this fella…

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Football

Will Benzema To Arsenal Mean Suarez Leaves Liverpool?

It would be one of the biggest moves of the summer - and could spark a transfer merry-go-round…

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Football

Man United Battle Barca & Bayern For Bilbao’s Aymeric Laporte

He certainly has potential, but his signature will come at a price…

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Football

Liverpool To Steal Man United & Chelsea’s £20m Target?

The Southampton midfielder is one of the most wanted talents in the country but who will snaffle him up?

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Football

Liverpool: If Suarez Leaves, Could Tevez Be His Replacement?

The Reds might lose their star striker, but if so, they’ve already chosen his replacement..

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Football

Man United: Could This Dutch Star Be Van Gaal’s First Signing?

This season hasn’t even ended but Man United are already dipping their toe in the transfer ocean…

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Football

Liverpool & Arsenal Battle For French World Cup Star

The two clubs are in an old-fashioned tug o’ war over this Gallic goal-grabber…

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Football

Hiddink? Van Gaal? Cantona? Who Should Replace Moyes at Man United?

David Moyes has finally been put out of his misery…but who will United turn to, to pull them out of the mire?

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Football

Man United: Arsenal Eyeing Smalling To Replace Outgoing Koscielny?

With Arsene desperate for defensive cover, he’s apparently been casting his eye over Man United’s England international…

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Football

Man United & Liverpool Eyeing The Player Twice As Good As Ronaldo*

According to stats, he almost doubled Cristiano Ronaldo’s dribbles per league game average last year, and he’s probably heading to the Premier League…

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Football

Liverpool Set To Steal Arsenal’s French International Target?

He’s long been touted as a prospect for the Premier League, but where is he likely to be running the middle third next season?

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Football

Arsenal: Wenger Eyeing Move For Chelsea’s Belgian Star

Romelu Lukaku is wanted by many - but with Giroud on his way, the Gunners might need him more than most…

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Football

Spurs’ Espen Baardsen & Other Cult 90s Footballers: Where Are They Now? Part 1

We grew up idolising and copying men like Leeds’ Tony Yeboah and er, Ken Monkou, but where did they all disappear to?

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Football

Money Talks: Are Man City About To Snatch Suarez From Liverpool?

He could well fire his side to the title this year - but with stacks of money on offer, could Luis Suarez be tempted to swap red for blue?

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Football

He Wants Out, But Will Chelsea Steal Man United’s World-Class Target?

As Chelsea travel to Paris, Jose might want to have a word with the Uruguayan…

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Life

9 Things That Should’ve Been April Fools…But Weren’t

This lot would’ve made a cracking April Fools Day joke - but the funniest thing is, they’re all true…

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Football

Man United Join Chelsea In The Race To Snap Up Spanish Star

Young, natural left footers are always hard to come by - and the Premier League rivals look set for a proper scrap if they want to snaffle this lad…

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Football

Man City Pile Misery On Man United By Hijacking Number One Target

Man United desperately need midfield additions - but could their rivals put paid to any additions?

Football

Arsenal & Man United Fight Over Playmaker As Munich Rule Out Move

Bayern Munich have stepped aside in the fight for Julian Draxler - but will he choose London or Manchester this summer?

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Sport

Watch Rooney’s Goal Get Almost Instantly Overshadowed…

End the Rooney/Beckham debate right now, it’s all about Engelaar…

Football

Chelsea: Blues Set To Steal Man United’s Number One Strike Target

Their forwards have hardly been pulling any trees up this year, so Jose wants to grab a proper, world-class net tickler in the summer…

Football

Arsenal: Chelsea & Man City Spark Into Life As Giroud Plans Exit Strategy

He’s a fans favourite down at the Emirates Stadium - but with his personal life all going a little bit Jeremy Kyle, could he be on his way back home?

Football

Edinson Cavani: Chelsea & Man United Ready To Go To War Over Uruguayan

There aren’t many top class forwards about - so David Moyes and Jose Mourinho are rolling up their sleeves in preparation for an old fashioned tug o’ war…

Football

Chelsea: Could The Blues Pip Man United & Arsenal To Marchisio?

As the race hots up for the Premier League title, so does the hunt for Juve’s industrious number 8…

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Sport

A Tribute To Morecambe’s Andy Parrish: The Footballer Stuck In Time

He steadfastly refuses to move with the times - and, you know what? We love him for that.

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Football

Rodwell: Why Everton & Man United Should Feast On City’s Sloppy Seconds

Modern-day sightings of the midfielder are rare - but we could well be seeing the his return to the first team fold soon…

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Sport

Watch Controversial Chechnyan President Score Two Goals Past Brazil

Guess who ate all the pies…

Football

Liverpool: Meet The Bearded Australian With A Brilliant Name You Need To Sign

He’s been making waves down under - but could he be set for a move to Merseyside? Everton are eyeing him, but Liverpool have a greater need…

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Football

Alireza Jahanbakhsh: The Young Iranian Man United Are Desperate For

He’s new to European football - but already some of his performances in Holland are turning heads. Will we see Alireza Jahanbakhsh in England soon?

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Football

Spurs Ready To Steal Unsettled Man United Striker

He’s been, ahem, frozen out by Man United boss David Moyes - so could the Little Pea pop up at their fourth place rivals Spurs?

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Football

Man United To Swap Flop Star With Borussia Dortmund?

After much hype, Shinji Kagawa has not made much of an impression at Old Trafford - and he could be on a plane back to Germany sooner rather than later…

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Football

Bacary Sagna: Could The World’s Worst Haircut Leave Arsenal For Chelsea?

His incisive bursts upfield from deep make him one of the Gunners’ most important assets - but it appears that Bacary Sagna might be off to pastures new…

Life

DIY Adrenaline: How To Get Your Buzz At Home

Adrenaline is dangerous and addictive and can lead us into some ball breakingly-stupid situations. Put the parachute away, there are plenty of ways to get your adrenaline fix at home.

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People

Jake Thackray: Songwriter, Comedian, Yorkshireman

There is something wonderfully romantic about the songs of Jake Thackray. Though the legendary singer-songwriter passed on in 2002, his legacy remains in live recordings of his performances from the 60s and 70s.

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Football

Arsenal: Theo Might Not Ever Regain Electric Pace After ACL Injury

He ran Spurs ragged before he picked up what we thought was just a niggly injury but turned out to be much worse. Bad for Arsenal fans and maybe even worse for England…

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Fashion & Style

The 5 Sharpest Blue Suited Men Of 2013

A gentlemen’s staple which has made a real comeback in 2013. Teamed with a pair of brown brogues and crisp white shirt, you can’t go wrong. I’ve counted down my top five blue suits of the year so far…

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