He was an eccentric gardner with a penchant for slow-motion porn, but Terry taught me what it meant to be content with life...
Being the gatekeeper to a glamorous world of fashion modelling isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Annoying teenagers, overprotective mum and pervy old man. Some customers just make us waitresses want to smash your main course over your head...
From somebody who works in advertising, take it from me, most of it is torture. But here are some handy tips of how to bastardise what's in vogue and get ahead of the pack.
Exercise is boring so let's just not do it, okay?
There's rejection, and then there's this...
Swapping keyboard tiles for roof tiles is a shock to the system. But nothing quite prepares you for a death on site.
Who says you can't enjoy your job? I used to think an orgasm was too much to ask from a client. Then I met a 6'5 dominant Irishman...
Acid on the beach, being called a mongrel, living with Gordon Brittas and getting seduced by northern A-Level students...
If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen they say. Well I could take the heat, just not the fat racist I worked with...
Pikeys, dossers and lunchtime spliffs. All in a days work at the car shop.
I'm sick of nurses getting a bad press. We do a thankless job, get paid buttons and have been used as scapegoats fo...
As a child, the adult world of work loomed heavily on the horizon. Luckily I found Charles Bukowski to read when I ...
Grease, illiterates and 9% cider and hash bongs for lunch. The bins had been bad, but I entered a different world e...
Everybody who works with the public is well aware of the shit customers can give you. This took that to a whole new level...
Like it or lump it, the daily commute is as necessary a part of the working ritual as photocopying your arse at the staff party. That said though...
From my parents fighting, to a slap with a with a slipper and having my new trainers 'christened' by Phil Babb, here's a potted history of miser...
When the gaffer of Superscreen was unhappy with a radio jingle script, he wrote it himself and locked the staff in the office until midnight...
Before I got my arse into gear to write for a living, I spent eight years working in a series of jobs that I hated with a passion. Here's the first one for your reading pleasure...
I go to work to work, not to hear about your impending sprog, flick through your holiday snaps or buy you a birthda...
Have you ever left someone in a bush with a note pinned to them? Licked someone's combover? Become Mystic Meg by ac...
It sounded, and started, like a dream job. Then the Head Greenkeeper returned and tried to convert me to religion.....
Twenty years after leaving university I find myself doing soul-sappingly dull work in a warehouse clinging to one b...
We don't all sit around in our pants writing poetry all day. Here's the truth about life as a freelancer.
After paying £2,500 for a coffee machine that might kill people, I'm compelled to build a snogging booth for teenagers and recharge my batteries...
I failed miserably in my quest to get my old mucker Dermot O'Leary to open the caff and, despite my hints, the missus gives me a pudding as a pre...
If you think owning a pet shop is 100% fun, games, goldfish and cuteness then think again. It's all dogs shitting blood and requests for turkey s...
He bought me a sandwich so good my jaw aches, but not nearly as much as my heart hurts now I've realised I should p...
Bad week at work have you? That'll be why you've just puked down my back, tried to grab my crown jewels and spat at...
When my missus and I decided to open a cafe in Leeds little did we realise the cast of characters who would enter o...
From expenses to keeping up with the commute, being a Northerner in the capital can often be quite the struggle... ...
There was never a dull day on the roofs: one afternoon you're an unlikely sex symbol for a women's prison, the next you're in on a secret assassination attempt.
With my rent due and debt rising it was either sell my body to the highest bidder or take my clothes off for complete strangers and let them draw me...
It's about time we dismissed some myths about the forever changing lifestyle of the modern woman...
Have you ever watched a cabbie getting beat-up or abused? Maybe you've seen it through your window and stayed insid...
As the election of the new Pope Francis still dominates the news agenda, we ask for the answer to an obvious questi...
This is a rare opportunity to be the boss you’ve always dreamed of being, as the position of my new employer has ...
I've been working as one of the voices of the underground since 1999 and the furore that kicked off after an interv...
Take a bow...
Proof that that it wasn't all just about Portishead and Massive Attack (though t...
From Iggy Pop in Star Trek to The Clash in a Scorcese flick, here are some on-sc...
From Hotel Chevalier to Moonrise Kingdom, the choice cuts from the big man's sou...
U-S-A!!! U-S-A!!!
Tinder Passport has landed, slid seamlessly through customs and been met at the ...
You wouldn't want to have got in the way of this one.
Back in the glory days of the 80s music industry, things were different. And the...
The islands might be best known for Soca, but there's a whole world of other gem...
They were the anti-heroes of a generation, like Vikings compared to the timid pu...
There's been a lot of talk over the past week about David Lynch classic Twin Pea...
The government is voluntarily surrendering our place at the top table and the Am...
You've all been wondering what Boy Kill Boy have been up to since 'Suzy'. 'Cours...
Sturgeon represents a streak of decency and integrity almost extinct in British ...
Absolute beast.
Hacks on the big screen. Here's the pick of the bunch.
A selection of quotations from the famous and the not so famous of God’s own c...
For four seasons now, Game of Thrones has delivered some of the most dramatic an...
Dorne. Lock it in your mind. It’s a place where Game of Thrones will be spendi...
It was the simple story of a very naughty boy who gets mistaken for the Messiah....