Well, it certainly hasn't been dull in the North-East this season. The highs of the derby win have been matched only by the shock at boardroom decisions. As they approach the half-way point, here's one fan's reflection on events so far.
"Sorry Andy, I think that's my cab over there"
What’s going right? Newly promoted, and with a very limited squad, this was always going to be a tough season. But Chris Hughton brought a rare degree of stability to the perennial “crisis club”. Driven by freescoring Andy Carroll and impressive new midfielder Cheik Tiote, things were going pretty well. Despite injuries and suspensions reducing Hughton’s options to the bare bones, there were some great results – 6-0 against Villa, 5-1 against Sunderland, away wins at Arsenal and Everton (and Chelsea in the cup). We were sitting fairly comfortably in mid table, and top flight survival looked thoroughly achievable. Then Mike Ashley pressed the self-destruct button. Again.
What’s not? Mike Ashley’s unfathomable decision to sack Chris Hughton has plunged the club back into disarray. “Regrettably the board now feels that an individual with more managerial experience is needed,” said the club, before appointing Alan Pardew. Fans and players reacted with anger and dismay, but with little surprise. Newcastle United has become a rich idiot’s plaything, and the enduring loyalty of the Toon Army is being tested to the limit.
Got the right manager? No, he was sacked.
Star player? Andy Carroll could earn Ashley a fortune in the transfer window.
Who would you like to sell in January? There’s plenty of dead wood in the squad, but it would be better for all concerned if Mike Ashley sold the whole club.
Who do you want to sign? We’re desperate for a creative midfielder, but it’s unlikely the current set up can attract or afford anyone half decent.
Best chant so far? The thus far futile “You fat bastard, Get out of our club”.
Best opposition player/team you’ve seen? In a pretty mediocre league, Ian Holloway’s Blackpool and Charlie Adam have been refreshing.
Biggest **** of the season so far? Fairly ****ing obviously it’s Mike ****ing Ashley.
Any other news? Yeah, having changed the 118-year-old name of St James’ Park, Ashley has now stuck huge Sports Direct signs all over the stadium, and painted his company’s name across the roof of the Gallowgate stand, turning the beating heart of a historic city into an advert for low quality sportswear.
End of season prediction? Ashley appointed Pardew to “take the club forward”, but most fans will settle for fourth from bottom.
Paul Brown’s new book, Unofficial Football World Champions, is available now: http://www.ufwc.co.uk/about/book/
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