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RIP Gary Speed

by Owen Blackhurst
27 November 2011 14 Comments

Elegant, straight-backed and the general of every team he played in. RIP Gary Speed.

Having lost more than one childhood friend to suicide, being met with the news that someone so seemingly invincible as Gary Speed had been found dead at his home enveloped me in a darkness. Having never met the man or supported a club team he’s played for, it feels quite strange to be writing this, but the respect I had for Speed as a player and a man, and the joy which I have felt from his Welsh renaissance compelled me to pen something.

Striding around the midfields of England for as long as I can remember, Speed’s elegance always stood out in the hurly burly of the English game. Straight-backed, unafraid of the ball, a delightful left foot and an appreciation of space that made him the general of every team he played in is how i’ll remember him.

I recently commissioned fellow Saboteur, Stephen Tudor, to write a piece about Wales under Speed. We talked for ages about how brave he was in crafting a young team in his image, how the young players had someone to look up to, a manager who wanted to play football in a style that every player and fan appreciates. Be courageous, love the ball, assist your teammates and give, nor ask for, no quarter. My Grandad would’ve loved it, to see Wales playing on the front foot, fearing no-one.

But now none of that matters, what matters is that his family are allowed the time, and room, to grieve without intrusion. Apparently the Daily Telegraph are live blogging it. Leave it alone please.  Although I refuse to speculate as to the reasons for his death, as a member of a family that, on my Mother’s side, has been haunted by depression, I’ve watched family members turn overnight from happy-go-lucky to broken. I didn’t see him on Football Focus yesterday, but anyone I’ve spoken to who watched reported that he was upbeat, looking forward to the future, which makes the news even more incomprehensible.

Seeing Shay Given in tears at the start of the Villa and Swansea game, and also hearing that Bellamy is apparently too devastated to play for Liverpool against Manchester City this afternoon, I think it would be best for all parties if they just cancelled the games. I know they won’t, but when one of the game’s most honourable servants is compelled to take his own life aged 42, it would be nice to think the financial juggernaut could stop and allow people to collect their thoughts.

RIP Gary Speed

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David B 3:27 pm, 27-Nov-2011

God! This is a total shock! Really, what is the game that we all argue over and spit bile over on occasion, actually worth when the obviously very private tragedy of a decent man goes without understanding or notice until it is too late. Puts the Shankly quote into perspective. God rest you Gary. I hope you do find peace. God speed help to your family & friends too.

H 3:34 pm, 27-Nov-2011

RIP. A sad sad day. Ive posted on other comments about speed. I remember him as the young swash buckler of the leeds title winning side. A handsome young man with the ravers hair that was popular at the time. As a 14/15 year old. He was probably my favourite non Bristol City/Arsenal player at them time. Or to put it another way my favourite player of a side i didnt support I remember my dad having, what i now know as a huge man crush on speed. He was devastated, when he cut those long dark locks, but this didn't dampen his admiration as one of the most promising young players of that time. As a sufferer of depression for many years on and off, i dont find it strange or weird about this sad news. A shock yes but Depression is an illness that devestates and debilitates, way beyond rational though or feeling. People say "if you're suffering please get help" but the truth is there isnt much in the way of help. G.P's tend to sign you off work for weeks and chuck anti depressant tablets at you. Counselling sessions are often too broad and unspecific. Depression is an individual illness. What one person feels the other may not. Im crying as I write this, not for the first time today. A 6ft 4 man, with a shaved/bald head, reduced to tears knowing the pain that speed was going through and what his family must be feeling now. Anyway i'l wipe these tears away and "man up" when i go downstairs, because we as british men must never show weakness or frailty, when often we are the weakest of all. Sleep well Gary, thanks for the memories, a gent on the pitch and off. I hope you have at last found peace RIP XX

Spugsy 3:36 pm, 27-Nov-2011

He was tremendous for Newcastle, he never let you down, always gave no less than 100%. He'll be sadly missed.

Mongalong 3:36 pm, 27-Nov-2011

Agreed, Owen. Very sad and strange. Didn't he score in every Premiership season (while he played)?

Tom A 3:38 pm, 27-Nov-2011

Respect.

Jim Thornton 3:46 pm, 27-Nov-2011

Nothing clumsy about that Owen. I think you've spoken very eloquently on behalf of a lot of people who felt the same about him despite him never playing for a team they support. The only thing I'd correct is that his upbeat performance yesterday makes it more incomprehensible. As a long time sufferer myself, I think it's typical of the illness that we put on act for the world whilst suffering in secret. Unfortunately sometimes the thought of having to act upbeat & happy through one more day is just too much to contend with. My heart goes out to his family who will no doubt feel stricken not just with grief, but guilt that they didn't help. The truth, tragic though it is, is that their love almost certainly kept him going longer than he might otherwise have done. It's just monumentally sad, and in a world which appears to have been taken over almost entirely by cunts, we can ill afford to lose a fine man like Gary Speed so young. God rest his tortured soul.

M 3:47 pm, 27-Nov-2011

It's a terrible indictment on society that so many feel so alone, helpless and desperate. We have all lost so much of ourselves in this world that is meant to give so much.

Ian 3:54 pm, 27-Nov-2011

Here's a piece by Stan Collymore on depression, posted yesterday ...it goes to show that not all footballers are egotistical, money grabbers . It also helps to shine a light on depression for those who think its just about being a bit unhappy!

Ian 3:56 pm, 27-Nov-2011

http://www.twitlonger.com/show/ecoqm1

ritchie forster 4:13 pm, 27-Nov-2011

you may have read this 'posted' by stan collymore yesterday if not it's well worth a read. http://www.twitlonger.com/show/ecoqm1

Dan Johnston 8:44 pm, 27-Nov-2011

RIP GARY YOU WILL BE GREATLY MISSED LAD!! :'(

Mick Green 8:59 pm, 27-Nov-2011

Played for the two clubs I support (Bolton & Newcastle) and was a gentleman, an inspiration and one hell of a footballer. Absolutely devastating news - RIP to one of the finest footballers of the Premiership era.

pontylassy 12:10 pm, 28-Nov-2011

Very very Tragic time!!!! Really feel for his family at this time. Just goes to prove no-one knows whats going to happen tomorrow. Makes me more determined to take more notice of the people around me

Rob 6:52 pm, 7-Dec-2011

Beautiful article & very well written Owen. As a long suffering Leeds fan I loved Gary, 'one of the greats'. It's a term much over-used these days but very true in his case. R.I.P. Gary.

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