I’m thoroughly worn out by the obsession with ‘skinny versus curvy', and I'm even more tired with the irresponsible, inconsistent and, quite frankly, schizophrenic reporting on the issue by women's magazines.
“Does my bum look big in this?” “Yes, incredibly and I think you’re also at high risk of heart disease and will probably die young” said no-one. Ever. Political correctness, the notion of being fair to all people, is a trait that I believe makes the UK a wonderful place to live. But I’m left miffed that apparently being overweight requires the same sensibilities that we give to stuff like race, gender and sexuality. Is pointing out someone’s willful ignorance towards healthy eating and the fact that it could send them careering to an early grave akin to being a huge racist?
The weight loss poster child of plus-size models, Crystal Renn, has recently been under the glare of the media. Renn, who having enjoyed a mildly successful high fashion career where she cultivated an almost fatal eating disorder, re-emerged a size 16 and became the bigger model du jour. Chanel lapped her up, as did Jean Paul-Gaultier and Dolce & Gabbana. Though their campaigns smacked of “look, we can do heavy girls too!” her effect on the fashion world has been impressive, not least in that she has been more than vocal on her feelings towards the size-zero debate. But whilst her recent appearance in Harpers Bazaar looking markedly slimmer was a kick in the teeth to plus-size, the reaction was just as hypocritical. Commentators spat that her new figure was ‘disgusting’ but though the weight loss is very noticeable, it’s by no means to the degree that she campaigned so passionately against. I’m not at all surprised by the backlash because if there’s anything women are guilty of it’s slagging each other off.
Myself, I’m not big and I’m not skinny and I’m definitely squishy, but I boycott women’s magazines because I know without fail they’ll be brimming with contradictory shit on what weight I should be. They regularly have kittens over the fluctuation of any female celebrities weight, with ‘skinny versus curvy’ features pitting celebs against each other like a glorified game of Top Trumps. Stories of super-model anorexia and laxative-fuelled dysentery backstage at fashion shows have been done to death. Of course drawing attention to the size- zero debate has done wonders in challenging body image, in particular for women of my age where eating disorders are of a frightening regularity. But at the other end of the scale, “skinny” scaremongering in full swing, we’re bombarded with images of women whose bodies are equally as unattainable. For example, Christina Hendricks is a size 14 but she also has tits the size of my head and a tiny waist. Many of us are not blessed with Hendricks’ measurements and yet there’s been an onslaught of women, who to put it politely, are just a bit dumpy lauding the comeback of ‘real’ curves. Numerically, yes, Hendricks is nearer the national average (because of said huge jumper puppies) than Kate Moss. But seeing as the UK has the highest obesity rate in Europe is that necessarily a good thing?
For example, Christina Hendricks is a size 14 but she also has tits the size of my head and a tiny waist.
I realise there is a drastic jump from being plus-sized to being morbidly overweight but isn’t the constant rabble rousing for ‘real’, curvy women just as irresponsible? Because, shock horror, we can’t all just be shoved into two categories. To get even more extreme, fashion magazine Love was applauded for featuring a nude Beth Ditto on it’s cover. At barely 5 foot 2 and weighing 15 stone is she really someone I should aspire too? “Yeah, you go girl! Go ahead, have that major coronary and menstrual abnormalities, do your thang!”
But the ‘curvy’ debate doesn’t seem to be slowing, what with it being women’s magazines favourite kind of demoralising bile, encouraging us to constantly compare ourselves to each other. The notion of ‘real’ women is militantly backed up by vox-pops of men sheepishly saying “well, ummm, yes I like boobs”, DID YOU HEAR THAT LADIES, MEN LIKE SOMETHING TO GRAB HOLD OF *snarl, spit* SO ALL YOU SKINNY WHORES CAN GO FUCK YOURSELVES. Is a generation of plus-size women, snapping their fingers and confidently exclaiming “only real women have curves!” a good thing? If a woman is naturally slim is she less of a woman? You have a womb, but have you got big tits?
The highly punchable, self-appointed spokesperson for ‘real curves’, Gok Wan, was at first likeable in his quest to raise the esteem of women of all shapes and sizes, the focus being on self-worth and warped body image. Though for me he’s descended into being the shouty officer of an army of giggly, over-confident, overweight morons. I would like to see an episode of How To Look Good Naked where Gok Wan, instead of wrapping a waisted belt on every single woman he meets, uses a tape measure to see whether they are in the high-risk diabetes category. “We’re going to address health and weight issues fleetingly but it’s OK though babe, cos you can just stick some Spank and a smock top on”.
I’m thoroughly worn out by the obsession with ‘skinny versus curvy’. One spread of any given women’s magazine will promote fad diets where you live off water and mung beans. But the same magazine will have an interview of a ‘curvy’ actress with the pull quote “I hate diets! Pass me the chocolate cake”. So which one do I pay attention to? Have we completely discarded the idea of a happy medium? Or did someone eat it?
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