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David Cameron Proves He Couldn't Lead A Choir, Let Alone A Country

by Owen Blackhurst
9 August 2011 24 Comments

Returning from Tuscany and after his meeting with COBRA, the PM give an address that proves once and for all he is a berk without a clue...

“Thankyou, there’s hard work to be done,” said David Cameron before turning on his heel and strutting back towards Number 10. If ever there was a moment, a speech, that showed David Cameron up to be exactly what he is, a fully-paid up member of the Bullingdon Club with no fucking idea of what goes on in the lives of ordinary people, then today was that day.

Kay Burley reckoned he looked furious, I just think he looked clueless. Tony Blair might have misjudged the public mood on the Iraq war and eventually paid the price for his actions, but in failing to return from Tuscany as London began to sizzle, Cameron proved himself to be an equally shameless cunt. As gangs began to gather across London, Cameron returned to a restaurant to tip a fucking waitress.

His speech was littered with pointless rhetoric that surely had no-one fooled. This is a man who doesn’t give a flying fuck about what is happening to the individual, only what might happen to his reputation. Both he and Boris bowed TO PRESSURE to return from their holidays. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK? I noticed a Tory fundraiser yesterday tweeted ‘what do you expect? him to come home and sweep up glass?’ Well, in a word, yes. And to LEAD the country.

I’ve come to the conclusion that you probably can’t lead your dick effectively out of your trousers without pissing down your leg, so how can you expect to lead a fucking country?

I didn’t vote for Cameron and never would, but if he’d have been in London within hours of Michael Duggan being shot and taken some positive action which could have stopped innocent people losing their homes and livelihood, then I might have gained a modicum of respect for him.

16000 coppers means fuck all Dave, it’s too late. If it’s quiet tonight it’s a pyrrhic victory at best. You can order their heads be kicked shitless, water cannons used and rubber bullets fired but it is too little, too late. You had your chance to lead from the front and missed it.

If I was the CEO of a company, or the manager of a football team, or a greengrocer, and whatever was on my watch broke down beyond all repair, I’d expect to be shellacked or sacked. If, however, I preferred to eat spaghetti shitting vongolle and slurp Limoncello while the electorate who voted me rioted, looted, suffered, burnt, lost, cried and screamed, then I reckon I’d have the good grace to stand down.

When, today, you appealed to the rioters not to ‘ruin their lives’ I realised once and for all that you know nothing, zero, these people do not give a shit and rightly or wrongly (I’m only here to judge you), will only stop when they are forcibly stopped. They have nothing to lose.

I’ve come to the conclusion that you probably can’t lead your dick effectively out of your trousers without pissing down your leg, so how can you expect to lead a fucking country?

Treat People Like Scumbags And They Will Act Like Scumbags

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image descriptionCOMMENTS

Martin Quirk 5:01 pm, 9-Aug-2011

Well said Owen, but Thatcher stayed in power for almost ten years after Brixton and Toxteth and Major for another 7 years after that. Liverpool is mobilising itself as we speak and I can see the citizens of Toxteth and the surrounding areas handing many a thug his arse back to him tonight.

Stephen Tudor 5:01 pm, 9-Aug-2011

Whilst the country's capital burned the PM, deputy PM, Home Secretary, and Mayor were all off on their jollies. Big lumps of posh lard the lot of em. Vote Tory - get riots.

Alibee 5:09 pm, 9-Aug-2011

Spot on - apart from the bit about the electorate. Did anyone actually vote the cunt in?

James Ingram 5:24 pm, 9-Aug-2011

Still, there's laughs to be had in the midst of this 'crisis'. TV footage of rioters looting POUNDLAND has to be the best moment so far.

Nev 5:34 pm, 9-Aug-2011

Hear Hear!

LONDONCALLING0033 6:41 pm, 9-Aug-2011

Conservative cunt is indeed the right combination of words. There is simply no other dialogue possible at the moment apart from that and riots

T 6:50 pm, 9-Aug-2011

The Coming Insurrection

Dave lee 7:23 pm, 9-Aug-2011

Well I think David Cameron is doing a very good job in trying circumstances. Perhaps Mr Blackhurst would like to try and do better? If he can stop taking drugs and masturbating long enough.

Hugh Platt 7:37 pm, 9-Aug-2011

Bile has a place in journalism from time to time. And this is one of those times. Spot on.

Red Steve 7:51 pm, 9-Aug-2011

"Doing a very good job"???? How? In cutting short his holiday and delivering a rubbish speech? Well done Dave. The nation salutes you...

robin lee 8:54 pm, 9-Aug-2011

Cameron = Twatspanner

David L 9:40 pm, 9-Aug-2011

Still, thank goodness he made it up with that waitress before leaving Tuscany, eh? I mean, that was a bit of negative press that was come back and bite him in the arse at some point, wasn't it? Could have been very nasty. And I sort of resent the inference that Cameron doesn't spend an awful amount of his time masturbating. I bet that if you threw a Jacob's cream cracker at him he'd drop trou and challenge half the Cabinet to a quick round of soggy biscuit faster than you could say "Old Etonian".

Alex H 2:30 am, 10-Aug-2011

So, you're one of Labour's Sheeple then, I take it. It's people like you who are responsible for the country being in this state. If you hadn't voted for Labour over and over again after countless broken promises and treacherous acts that were no less than treason, the Tories wouldn't have such a massive clean up job to do. Maybe Cameron was late back and he has to answer for that, but what party (voted in by you and your fellow morons) weakened police powers in the first place??

Hugh Platt 9:26 am, 10-Aug-2011

You do realise that the Labour government, y'know, increased police powers during their time in office? And that it's stuff like the Conservative/Lib Dem cutting of EMAs that were a contributing factor in tipping people over the edge? If anyone was to have the childish epithet of "sheeple" thrown at them, then it's probably people like Alex H who start crying for the wambulance whenever Call Me Dave gets shown up as an inhuman Tory automaton.

Owen Blackhurst 9:45 am, 10-Aug-2011

Alex, the piece above isn't directly about political point scoring, it's about the fact that our supposed leaders were drinking cocktails while innocent people were losing their homes and livelihoods. I'd have written the same piece had it been Blair, Brown, Milliband whoever in charge. This is about people being let down in a time of need by the people at the top. 16,000 coppers could've been on the streets from sunday, they could've been mobilised on saturday night if the call had been made. They weren't, it wasn't, and that is a fucking travesty.

mark 10:00 am, 10-Aug-2011

That press conference that he gave yesterday...hahaha. I bet the looters were SHITTING themselves. " You will feel the full force of the law"? Really? and what is that? a £200 fine and a suspended community service order? Ps wasnt it nice of them to ensure that a black policeman was in camera shot the whole time- Uncle Tommery at its finest!

Bazualdo 10:34 am, 10-Aug-2011

Top article, no comment needed as i completely agree

Iss 11:05 am, 10-Aug-2011

"So, you're one of Labour's Sheeple then, I take it. It's people like you who are responsible for the country being in this state. If you hadn't voted for Labour over and over again after countless broken promises and treacherous acts that were no less than treason, the Tories wouldn't have such a massive clean up job to do. Maybe Cameron was late back and he has to answer for that, but what party (voted in by you and your fellow morons) weakened police powers in the first place?? " You are monumentally retarded. Also, who the fuck uses the word 'sheeple' unironically?

Martin Quirk 12:49 pm, 10-Aug-2011

MPs and ministers from both sides just bicker like divorcees about whose to blame for the behaviour of their naughty little brats. Point scoring at every turn and thinking only of their own political career. Look at the fuckwits we've put into power and look at the pathetic futility of the alternative. Makes you realise why Guy Fawkes came 30th in the vote for the greatest Britons if all time.

Jason G 4:52 pm, 10-Aug-2011

Whats the point of Dave coming off his holiday? He can't do anything. May as well have stayed in Tuscany and seen events unfolding on the telly. He, one person, cant do anything.

mh 9:56 pm, 10-Aug-2011

he only came back so he could hood up and meet Boris to smash up a few restaurants like the old days

indgio Nero 10:16 am, 11-Aug-2011

That's the game ... no one leads a country. The country just is. Calm now ... We have no need for the MPs whom steal from us at any given chance. The police let it happen. You ever been at a match and told to depart? In seconds of that the dogs the batons they steam in and fuck you. They used this as a protest at the cuts ... cunts!

indigo Zero 10:00 pm, 22-Aug-2011

Police service ... not force ... as you will see if you look at the footage from the riots. The met police failed London on a grand scale 32000 with warrents fit for duty stood by and let it all go on. They have job to do they failed to do it! They lost any respect I had for them. EM you are doing meth or smoking crack. The police let it be! Singing words of wisdom!

Matthew Armstrong 8:16 pm, 9-Dec-2011

i may not agree with the way ur going about it n the way ur saying it but yeh he has to be one of the worst weve had... i swear he wouldnt be so bad if he didnt spend most of his time bitching about how shit the other parties are n actually did some politics. Even gordon brown was a damn sight better than him!

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