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Pippa Middleton's Upstaging Arse

by Rebecca Lomax
25 December 2011 28 Comments

After the Royal Wedding everyone was talking about one arse - and amazingly it wasn't Prince Philip.

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Every bride knows theres a possibility of being upstaged at their wedding.  Kate Middleton never stood a chance yesterday.  Someone was bound to do something to cause a stir.  With an audience of two billion people around the world, the timing to do something drastic could not have been better.  Posh could have actually sung live for once instead of miming the hymns,  Elton could have wheeled in a piano for an impromptu sing along of Candle in the Wind.  Visiting dignitaries could have grabbed the opportunity to announce a war – the possibilities were endless.  But the upstaging to end all upstaging ended up being an arse.  Now I now what you’re thinking, what has Prince Philip been up to now?  Did I miss him uttering a mildly racist comment whilst waiting for the bride to make her way to the alter?  No, the epitome of sisterly betrayal came in the form of Pippa Middleton’s perfectly formed derriére.  Kate’s own sister didn’t have the common decency to wear something slightly unflattering at her own sister’s wedding.  Even Princess Anne weighed up all the options and wore something awful.  Beatrice and Eugene (granted they’re not known for their style) had the good grace to turn up looking suitably horrendous.

Al Murray tweeted “Bagsy Pippa Middleton”.

Although, when your older sister marries the most eligible bachelor in the land, perhaps you’re entitled to flaunt your best asset before being subjected to years of endless smugness and pitying looks.  As soon as she appeared the comments started on Twitter from men (and women) in awe of the sight before them.  Al Murray tweeted “Bagsy Pippa Middleton”.

Caitlin Moran asked Davina McCall “As a work-out expert, what do you think her “arse regime” is?”  The question of undergarments arose when it was noticed there was a distinct lack of VPL.  24 hours later and Pippa’s gluteus maximus even has it’s own facebook fan page – ‘Pippa Middleton Ass Association Page’ with over 30,000 likes.  Awkward.  Speaking of awkward, there’s the snappily titled “The awkward moment you became a sex icon at your sisters wedding.”  If you want to appreciate Pippa’s moment of glory your options are wide ranging.

So, what next for the ass in question.  This is surely to spark at least ten magazine features titled ‘How to get an upstaging arse in six weeks’,  perhaps a Middleton butt workout, ‘Bridesmaid Butt Bootcamp – 30 minutes to the perfect backside’. I’d quite like to see Kate submit her ‘true life story’ to Take-A-Break — ‘How my sisters arse ruined my wedding’.  We could all read the feature sympathetically and then have a chance of winning a range of home appliances – everyone’s a winner.  Kate would even get 250 quid for her story which would go some way to repairing the damage done.  The most lucrative way for Pippa exploit her buttocks though has be to use them to launch a music career — it certainly helped J-Lo.  P-Middy has a certain ‘ring’ to it if she chooses the gangsta rap route.

However she decides to further upstage Kate, fair play to Pippa — In a room full of pompous arses at least hers got the most positive reception.

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image descriptionCOMMENTS

Barry Dalton 2:41 pm, 30-Apr-2011

She's the younger sister, no??

Si 2:47 pm, 30-Apr-2011

Chances of Harry having a crack at her on the dancefloor at the reception ?

Kenny Whizzbang 2:48 pm, 30-Apr-2011

You're right, Barry.

Lanny 4:46 pm, 30-Apr-2011

Strictly jealousy on your part Rebecca. You only wish yours was that nice!!

hovis68 5:18 pm, 30-Apr-2011

Pippa's arse was a truly majestic sight and is along with the nun in Reebok Classics, the two iconic images that I shall be taking away from the events of yesterday. When's the next one?!

gdl 5:29 pm, 30-Apr-2011

.. I happen to agree- though I might've chosen a different 'tone'! than the the poster! 'Pippa' looks absolutely gorgeous- in a Carolyn Bessette Kennedy dress kind of way- but inappropriate as a bridesmaid- especially to one's own sister.. a beautiful girl too interested in "me, me, me" if a dress choice can speak--

stanbowles 9:30 pm, 30-Apr-2011

I've had it. It's a bit spotty.

Rob 11:07 pm, 30-Apr-2011

I think her derriere has been talked up rather too much. Kate is far more attractive and was a lot more stunning than her younger sis imho. That said, I wouldn't blame Harry if he attempted a sneaky grope during a slow dance and after a few shandies at Buck Palace last night :)

rosalind lingwood 11:16 pm, 30-Apr-2011

thought the dress amazing. she looked like the greek goddess riseing from the sea in that shell thing, the perfect pose holding the hands of the little brides maids.

noz 7:04 am, 1-May-2011

love a 69 with the fucker

helhon 7:34 am, 1-May-2011

"Its" not it's - and she's a lovely girl, get over yourself!

NETTYWEST 7:39 am, 1-May-2011

It would be a crying shame if we never got to see what marvellous babies could be made from the genes that made such a majestic ass combined with someone with a good thick head of ginger hair and a cheeky grin... but where to find someone to fit the bill... ?

jim beam 10:49 am, 1-May-2011

prefer a bit more "junk in da trunk"

Bernie Trumpleton 12:49 pm, 1-May-2011

Anal Creampie anyone !!!

Wayne 1:05 pm, 1-May-2011

@Helhon If you are referring to the 'It's' in the header then might I suggest you get over yourself instead and consider a grammar course. It's is an abbreviation of 'It is' and that is exactly how the header should read: 'This time it is (abbrv) not Prince Philip.'

Our Jonf 6:27 pm, 1-May-2011

@Wayne. I'm guessing Helhon was referring to Stanbowles comment, which didn't need correcting as 1) 'it's' is correct - it's's correct to be correcter and 2)

Our Jonf 6:28 pm, 1-May-2011

@Wayne. I’m guessing Helhon was referring to Stanbowles comment, which didn’t need correcting as 1) ‘it’s’ is correct – it’s’s correct to be correcter and 2) it is indeed spotty.

King of the Slums 6:08 am, 2-May-2011

Great onion

brooke 5:25 am, 4-May-2011

i think it's ridiculous to say she outstaged kate. kate looked stunning, and even though pippa looked lovely, i didn't notice her at all til everyone talked about her after. she's cute, but not even that attractive. i think ppl just want to create drama because there was none, the wedding went on without a hitch. (ps: her dress was NOT appropriate for a bridesmaid, low neck AND white?!?)

orourkeda 12:08 pm, 3-Jul-2011

Superb rectum

Jimmy James Jameson 12:54 pm, 25-Dec-2011

Nice arse. Average face. Would definitely bend the posh nouveau riche slapper over to bang her in her over rated derrier though. Merry Christmas

dastardly 3:15 pm, 25-Dec-2011

That is a WAY overated arse, it doesn't have width or depth, roundness is lacking, not pronounced at all.

Jack Adams 8:00 am, 26-Dec-2011

Would all the scum bags who leave such crude comments please message me to arrange meeting up so I can punch you till my hands hurt. I am sick to death of idiots like Bernie and Noz! I'm serious Bernie! You guys make me sick you dirty little perverts

Frontwheel 2 1:51 am, 1-Jan-2012

SHUT UP JACK YOU SILLY CUNT

Ulysses Elias 10:19 pm, 17-Sep-2012

British men are really weird about arses. You like women whose arses resemble those of 14 year old boys. Skin over bone. It is a very male homosexual view. I blame it on boarding school. Remember when Kylie Minogue's arse got its own headlines? Why? Not unlike Kylie's, Pippa's arse is flat, skimpy and boyish. While gay guys may very well like male arses, heterosexual men of Britain, I exhort you to stop looking at boys' arses and learn what a woman's arse looks like!

king of the slums 5:39 am, 18-Sep-2012

Oh how disappointed we must have all been to find a nicely trimmed clunge on the other side of that arse...

orourkeda 11:34 am, 15-Mar-2014

This still makes me go hard

orourkeda 11:39 am, 15-Mar-2014

yes king of the slums. we were most disappointed to learn that she takes care of her fanny

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