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Reportage | TV & Film | By Jo Fuertes-Knight | Posted 6 February 2011

REPORTAGE | TV & Film

Why I Love My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding

By Jo Fuertes-Knight

Posted: 6 February 2011
Tags: politics, Travel

The thing I love about Channel 4 is their ability to dress things up as hard-hitting analyses of people twitching on the outskirts of polite society when we all know that real the purpose of these documentaries is make you shout at your telly like a goaded drunk.

'I'll foight yer for it...'

My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding started as a one off documentary for Cutting Edge, looking at the super secretive Irish origin travelling community in Britain (FYI NOT ROMANY GYPSIES) and their gloriously over-the-top weddings. On the surface it’s just a show about massive meringue dresses that even Jordan would think are a bit much, that are so heavy they cut into the bride’s flesh. But now as a spin off series it delves a little further into their lives, namely their slightly rapey courting rituals, unique take on Catholicism, mild racism and refusal to integrate.

The smug, almost Discovery ape documentary-esque narration is probably as close as a voiceover can get to finger pointing and going “look at what fucking mentals they are…LOOK!” But it is still so neatly packaged that the average reasonable viewer will justify borderline sexual assault as being down to tradition. Like how stoning people to death for adultery is just kinda cultural in Afghanistan yeah?

However last nights episode kicked up a crap-storm after showing a forcible eviction from a gypsy site meaning the travelers had to, erm, travel to another home. See, hands down the best thing about Gypsy Weddings is how furious it has made people, dividing reactionary, pikey-bashing psychopaths that are afraid of life from the bleeding heart liberals that have leapt to their defence not really knowing much about them but defending them for the sake of it.

I just thought that seeing as I don’t have an in-depth knowledge of planning permissions and the council’s reasoning for evicting them that I would hold back on losing my shit at a moments notice.

By default you can’t criticise the perpetually persecuted even if you know there is the strong possibility that they’re in the wrong because OH MY GOD YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THEIR STRUGGLE, THINK OF THE CHILDREN! LETS FIGHT THE SYSTEM! I just thought that seeing as I don’t have an in-depth knowledge of planning permissions and the council’s reasoning for evicting them that I would hold back on losing my shit at a moments notice. I’m sure prior to Channel 4 airing it most people had no knowledge of the background of travelers and maybe even slammed their door on one offering to tarmac their drive.

So long as people remember this is nothing more than a glorified freak show, for gawping at a community with obviously mental rules and rituals, occasionally throwing in some vague shit about he plight of their community then you’re alright, yet I can still see the TV execs rubbing their hands as people get riled on cue. You know how periodically there’s a quite openly offensive article on The Daily Mail and then Twitter becomes overwhelmed by poignant Tweets and tin-pot rhetoric (it’s OK, I’ve done it loads), yeah it’s just the TV fuel for that. But on that note, if you are capable of appreciating it for the trashy, deliberately provocative guff that it is and enjoy fantasising about having a rhinestoned, glow-in-the-dark dress that slices into your hips, then I’d highly recommend it.

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3:38 pm, 26-Jan-2011Matilda Velevitch

love the brides and the girls and the dresses and the grannys...but where are all the traveller men??? maybe they dont befit the programme?

3:55 pm, 26-Jan-2011Keith Wildman

The men are off out obtaining the cash (in hand) to pay for it all.

4:11 pm, 26-Jan-2011dawn smith

i feel that allot of these people who stand and judge an make stupid comments about travellers/gypsies, are the weird ones. just goes to show they don't have a clue. the travellers have been slandered for years and years. the old original gypsies where honest people, who went from town to town looking for work, and doing odd jobs, for food or money. its only the like of the pikes an some new age travellers that have ruined the reputations of the romanie gypsies. if you went from town to town across the uk, you would find people allot worse than these people on my big fat gypsy wedding. you would never find a gypsy girl or woman prostituting herself! or going out like most young women in many towns an cities getting drunk an going out having sex with 3-4 blokes on a normal night out. would you!!! maybe some of what the little ones are allowed to where on the program isn't your normal kiddies stuff, but they are kids they copy their elders, tv pop stars! there is loads of clothes in the shops for little kiddies that even i would not let my daughters or granddaughters wear. its sociaty! let people live how they want to live. make more gypsy sites! i would rather live on one! i am trying to trace my family tree right back to my romanie gypsy relatives. and if most of you others did so im sure that's where some of you originate from too! let people be!

4:58 pm, 26-Jan-2011Robert

A few 'travellers' turned up at my auntie's house a few years back and offered (no joke) to re-taaarmac her drooivewaay for £200. Since her droiveway was a bit of a state she agreed. They did an absolutely bang-up job; beautifully level, properly edged, absolute masterpiece.

5:22 pm, 26-Jan-2011Frank Heinz Diebel

I totally agree. It would be really interesting to have more depth. Instead the whole thing is centered around wedding dresses and tarty looking women. No mention of gypsy culture, history and so forth. Not sure what this is but it certainly isn't a docu!

5:28 pm, 26-Jan-2011kingmonkey

I have to agree the show has really opened up peoples eyes to their way of life. But lets face it, the whole documentary is just a micky take of Gypsy ways. They have clearly filmed hours upon hours of footage and are showing the viewer & public friendly stuff. Its not the sort of show i would dream of watching, but found myself drawn to it whilst the wife & her visiting mother were glued to it. My work collegues have had their say, as have the lads i share a football away coach to every other week and whatever the desired effect was, all I've heard is people laughing at them, or asking ' who pays for the cars ' 'how do they get car insurance ' 'how do they earn the money to support the 9 kids' 'i bet they dont pay tax on the earnings' 'they are all interbred' etc etc.....basicaly the same stuff i heard in the playground 30 years ago. Great TV. I think

12:47 pm, 27-Jan-2011holly smith

Please would you guys stop with these JELOUS comments, you are just hateing bcos ur MUMS,SISTERS,DAUGHTERS,GRANDMOTHERS,AUNTIES, have had about 40 men, prob kids by diff men, pushing little mixed race kids arpund with no dad in sight! but us travller/gypsy girls only have one man, our HUBBYS! the only peoply we have respect for is asian/indian girls bcos like us, they keep themselfs clean and wait until they get married, i know on the program that one guy said (paki wedding) but belive me (im talking to the asian/indian, dont need to explain myself to you ''clean'' white women) that there was no intenion of being racsim in it, but i do appolge. so just have a think of how many men you white women had and do your kids know there dads?....didnt think so.

5:28 pm, 27-Jan-2011Pinju

Oh Holly...what a wonderful world of stereotypes you must live in. Double standards, much? Well done on spelling daughters though, it is tough one.

5:50 pm, 27-Jan-2011holly smith

tut tut pinju, how can you talk about stereotypes and then leave a comment about spelling daughters?! next time think b4 you speak.

6:33 pm, 27-Jan-2011griff

i think the glaring absence of adult males in the series is worth further investigation. instead of a fumble behind the bike sheds, these people's rather odd moral compass (where dressing like hookers and sexualising their young children seems the norm) means that they simply go the whole hog and get married at 16 in order to explore their very normal sexual urges. children getting married at 16 does not provide a community with the moral high ground. i would hope that our society is now enlightened enough to understand that there is nothing wrong with playing the field to find the right partner so a couple can have a happy and fulfilling relationship together with the right person. not get hitched to the first bloke to 'grab' you in order to get your rocks off. when the young groom comes to his senses a few months later to find himself living in a 6 foot by 10 foot trailer with a pregnant teenager that he doesnt really know he probably really starts to travel. away from the spouse they should never have got married to in the first place. crazy people. great telly.

7:53 pm, 27-Jan-2011Pinju

Holly, read what you wrote originally and tell me that it's all spelled correctly. That's not a 'stereotype', it's a fact. I can see it with my own eyes!

8:22 pm, 27-Jan-2011Matilda Velevitch

Oh God - all I meant was the Production Comapny have obviously chosen to leave them men out of the programme to make it look more absurd and less like a full picture of their life. As for fitting Holly's stereotype, I wouln't know, I'm Macedonian........sorry

11:47 pm, 27-Jan-2011Tom Okker

Why do all the fellas wear vests an av mad haircuts?

12:58 am, 28-Jan-2011holly smith

everyone who talks bad about travllers its only bcos they dont know any! just ask someone who does and then leave your stupid mgs!!!!!. pinju how old r u? bcos ur makin a show of urself, im only 15 and i've got a better head on my shoulders than u'll ever have. fair enuf about the spelling remark but im more than happy wiyh the way i spell, other things are more important. and griff you sound like somebody that didnt have no dad around? r ur DAUGHTER (dats 4 u pinju) is pregs at 14????

1:46 am, 28-Jan-2011clementine

I said the programme was a joke because it was a generalized title that gave the wrong impression of the different Traveler groups in this country and it implied things like the 'grabbing' were a norm amongst all and I said most Gypsies & Travelers were outraged by what they saw and felt not only misrepresented, but many felt embarrassed and shocked.

9:33 am, 28-Jan-2011Pinju

Holly, a serious question, no implied agenda or owt. But 'we' don't know a traveller and by definition, travellers 'travel' or keep themselves to themselves. Travellers don't work where I work. They don't drink where I drink. I've never seen them at local 'whatever'. And generally speaking, 'we' will barely speak to our next door neighbour as we have 'the fear'. Further to that, travellers tend not to include 'outsiders' (apart from business.) So, in all seriousness, how are 'we' to get to know a traveller? Do you see the problem here? Just rocking up to a site where travellers may be just to say 'Hello' is just something 'we' wouldn't do. So how would you suggest we better this situation? Just curious...

7:53 pm, 30-Jan-2011Il Padrino

Im guessing the people defending the pikeys are either those who have never had to deal with them first hand. If you've ever had to deal with a family of the cunts shoplifting, or starting fights when they're pissed or generally being dirty, arrogant, liverty taking thieving racist scum then you'd probably have a different opinion. Pay some taxes and contribute something of wirth to the country or shut the fuck up about being persecuted.

11:05 pm, 30-Jan-2011holly smith

the cheek of you 'padrino' talking about this country, have a look at my name then have a look at ur own? im english and im in england you dirty racist greasey bastay rd!! and plus i dont mind being called a pikey, its better than being called ''look at that girl pushing dat mixed race kid in that pram'' like the most of u ppl, ur dads prob a pikey u prick. and who u callin dirty? u ppl is a show ur the most degradein of any race, whereis ur fam frm italy? well fuck back there if u have probs

1:30 pm, 31-Jan-2011Il Padrino

Im guessing the irony of you calling me racist and then having a pop at mixed race babies and telling me to "fuck back" to Italy is lost on your illterate little brain, as is the that fact that a person with foreign parents is more competent at the English Language than you. Maybe if you bothered to learn to read and write properly you'd be able to articulate your ignorant defense of inbred parasites with more clarity.

1:57 pm, 2-Feb-2011MrDark

I have to say we should stick to factiods here, and the factiods are that no, the gypsy community does not want to 'integrate' with the wider community, and no, most members of the gypsy/traveller communities pay little or no tax on their earnings (yet expect there to be police/NHS/fire services there on tap). The factiods state that some gypsy communities expect to be able to roll up on any bit of land big enough for them, set up there, leave a big old mess, and then bugger off again once local councils/residents kick up a big enough stink. These are the factiods people, lets leave the racism and generalisations to the Daily Mail, channel 4 et al.

7:17 pm, 2-Feb-2011Queen of the Pedants

What is a factiod? Sounds like an embarrasing digestive problem or summat. Loving the "intelligent" debate on this thread!

10:55 pm, 2-Feb-2011griff

they applied for planning permission in a field near us, it was rejected. so one night they laid a load of tarmac and some drains and moved in anyway. rather than bulldozer the fuckers off they appealed and the council gave them leave to stay whilst the appeal when through. for 4 years!

11:03 pm, 2-Feb-2011Tom Okker

Considering their called Travellers, they don't do much travellin, they just seem to pitch up in fields and don't fuck off for years.

1:53 pm, 3-Feb-2011Keith Wildman

It's very easy to be sympathetic towards them if you've never had any personal dealings with them, but when that time comes it'll be a bit of a wake up call. There's a huge gypsy problem in Bradford, going back to the 80s when the council decided to class them as 'an ethic minority' and pretty much let them do what they want, a decision that ended up costing the Bradford tax payers the best part of £100k in evictions, and we're still suffering the consequences today with Bradford seen as a 'soft touch'. The reason they do travel is that staying put in a legal camp means making some form of financial contribution. By moving around you're free to dump your waste wherever you like and make your cash in hand by stealing and intimidation before moving on again. The young lass that posted above is a prime example of the cycle doomed to repeat itself.

2:00 pm, 3-Feb-2011rach

i have had experience of being with a romany gypsey he was a man with no respect for any one or there property he would take anything he wanted and he was violent........we lived on a traveler site for a bit and when i was pregnant the family were nice to me but as soon as i had the baby and decided to get out of there i had alot of trouble from all of them i had to move myself and daughter along way away....my daughter has romany blood and i dont have a problem with them they look after there own and treat the girls with great protection but would i involve my self romanticly with them again noooo way,holly you condem british girls for having a child and not having the dad around but i was not brought up to put up and shut up and would rather be a single mum with a happy child than be scared for my life in a community that turns a blind eye because they provide....i provide for us myself and were happy now

4:04 pm, 6-Feb-2011gayle

when did it become Ok to ridicule other peoples cultures? "my big fat nigger/paki wedding" anyone?

10:06 pm, 10-Feb-2011nicole willshaw

hello ur are amazing xxxxx

10:02 am, 6-Mar-2011Bryce

The author of this article thinks he is so smart above being effected by TV. He is stupid for believing this show. Its not a documentary Roma and Travelers are not really like this, its racist trash designed to make a lot of money for its producers. Shame on Britain for allowing such trash on TV. Sure there is plenty of racism in the US but something this bad directed towards a minority would probably be driven off the air

11:16 am, 6-Mar-2011gayle

Did anyone see the guardian article? This reality TV is dangerous stuff, how it can affect the general public's perception. Pure hatred and racism dressed up as light entertainment? dangerous times indeed. http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/feb/25/truth-about-gypsy-traveller-life-women

6:21 pm, 18-Aug-2011re

i compleatly agree with holly. i live in ahouse, have done all my life but im an irish gypsy by blood and do you know what? as soon as i can im going to get my own trailer and move onto a site or travel. the traveler community are NOT all like this, their not all secretive and their not all "theiving pikey cunts" as alot of you seem to suggest. ive been going out with a traveler boy since i was thirteen and now im sixteen, no were not going to get married yet but yes, he has preposed. so what? travelers have a great sence of family values witch alot of people dont, theres good and bad in all and it upsets me to hear people simalar to myself slandered. and also, yeah some move so they dont have to pay, but many move to be where there is work, some like me simply like the idea of freedom to go where you want when you want. i think moving for work as most do is ten times better than sitting around scrounging benefits, you'd moan if they did that. unless you now people you shouldnt judge. my fiance is a scrap man, tarmacer and laborer and do you know something? he goes out and earns money for our future, he doesnt steal and neither do most travelers i know.

4:18 am, 28-Aug-2011l. smith

I really like this show, and I have no hatred of the gypsies because of the way they are portrayed. They are certainly no worse than what you see in so called "polite society", and so many things about them I admire. The way the men protect the women, the women stay at home and care for the home and children. That's the way things were in a better time before the feminist movement came along. They are having a marathon on the show tonight, and I have watched several episodes. The one I am watching now, is following the life of Paddy Dougherty. I think he seems like more of a real man, than all the feminized men I see out there now. And to Dawn and Holly Smith, hey maybe way back our families are related, I was born a Smith, too. And, so what if the girls get married young and have lavish, over the top weddings. It's their day, let them do what they want to do on it. My grandmother got married at fourteen. I am sure there are bad people among the gypsies who live to scam on other people, but there are the same sort of people everywhere. And from what I have seen so far, the gypsies are very family-oriented, hard working people. Personally, I feel England has lost its identity, because it has allowed so many foreigners to come in and practically take over. And you can't even speak out about the muslims who want to take over and force all to embrace their cult. And a schoolgirl can't ask a teacher to let her move to another group at school, because the group she is assigned to won't speak English, and the teacher has her arrested for it. What the hell is going on in our mother country??? At least the Irish gypsies have not polluted their culture with that of these foreign invaders to England. I hope they manage to keep their culture intact in the coming years.

4:21 am, 28-Aug-2011l. smith

Oh, yeah, if they buy land and then a whole group of them live there, leave them alone!!! They aren't hurting anyone, and it is their land.

12:13 am, 15-Feb-2012Chérelle

Some Irish gypsies are lovely people and some aren't, jus like some non-gypsy people are lovely and some are horrible. people need to just get along or at least keep ignorant comments to themselves. I'm mixed race, my mums White (English and Scottish) and my dads black (Ghanaian) and they've been together for about 17 years, so all this stuff about non-travellers are dirty and sleep around and all these racist comments are just stereotypical and incorrect. Im a 14 year old girl (nearly 15) and if I have the decency to respect that everybody follows different traditions, cultures and religions and everybody was born different, then why can't some of you?

9:46 am, 15-Feb-2012griff

dont think anyone is loving this anymore. we get it. was interesting first time round. channel 4 : flogging a dead horse, or at worst exploitation.