An anti-semite ball of rage who dresses like a five-year-old. The game is up duck...
1. He hates Micky Mouse.
Mickey is probably one of Donald’s oldest friends ever and the very reason he even made it to the place he is now and yet, he hates him. Hates him good, and spends all his time trying to steal his limelight and be the Walt Disney poster boy – proof in the pudding can be seen during the episode of Disney’s House of Mouse where Donny tries to make them change the name of Mickey’s club to House of Duck. Something that is not only proof of his Mickey hatred but also of his inability to grasp the fundamentals of rhyming couplets…
2. He’s a bully with anger management issues.
One of his defining character traits is his anger. He gets pissed off at everything and wants to fight everyone and bullies people that are weaker than him. How many times have we seen him berate his nephews or pick on those weird chipmunk things? There’s a good reason for why Disney cast him as Scrooge in their Christmas Carol adaptation. Even his animator Fred Spencer says: “The Duck gets a big kick out of imposing on other people or annoying them, but he immediately loses his temper when the tables are turned. In other words, he can dish it out, but he can’t take it.” What a prick, ey?
3. He could be a pervert.
Aside from the obvious, that he walks around without any trousers on, something that is usually enough to get most people arrested, he also hangs around with his three underage nephews all the time. Now call me fickle but knocking around with three children all day and not wearing any trousers is a bit pervy. Plus he’s always taking them on ‘adventures’ to quiet locations where they get ‘lost’ or ‘trapped.’ Seems a little convenient to me, and where are their parents? Donald says he’s their uncle but we never meet his siblings. Has he kidnapped Huey, Dewey and Louie? I wouldn’t put it past the sicko.
4. Ducks are gang rapists.
One thing about ducks that tends to be left out by Attenborough is that they mate through a process that can be quite accurately described as gang rape. Which is pretty fucked up, not to mention wholly unnecessary and definitely something worth remembering when you treat them to your stale Hovis. Sure they might look cute, but behind those beaks and shiny eyes is nothing but hate and rape.
5. He’s dresses like a child at a wedding.
He’s a grown man (duck) and yet he still dresses like a child at a wedding. This is simply not acceptable. Ever. It’s creepy as hell. Combined with the fact that he speaks like an undeveloped child with his lispy dribbling slur and we’ve got one messed up pup here. He reminds me of those fetish people that dress up as babies and eat giant lollies, except he’s not a baby he’s a duck. A rapist pervert duck in a crotchless sailer suit. I don’t trust him.
6. He hates jews.
Back in 1972 in a German issue of the Mickey Mouse comic, Donald used the words Holocaust in a congratulatory manner when trying to rouse some young troops, in a story called, ahem, ‘Where’s The Smoke’. This caused people to go bat shit for obvious reasons and highlighted a deeply ingrained anti-semitism in Donald Duck that he’d been clearly fighting for some time – as illustrated in his repeated struggles to control his temper.